There is willingness for more than just behaviors. I discovered that I was holding on to my unhappiness, my grumpiness. I’m not sure why: maybe it was just all I knew in recent years, maybe allowing myself joy seemed like turning off my mind and not seeing reality. I had a mental vision of myself actually grasping my unhappiness with my hand, gripping it tightly. It struck me how backwards that was. I’ve asked God to give me the willingness to be happy and let go of the need to criticize everything around me and concentrate that things and people weren’t behaving as I wanted. It’s starting to work. When I feel myself staying grumpy, I try to give that to God to have and take from me.
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